


Vesuvia College

by MercurialComet



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-29 16:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercurialComet/pseuds/MercurialComet
Summary: What it says in the tags.Is a small crack fic, and will (hopefully) remain a small crack fic.





	1. Where? Where are they?

**Author's Note:**

> Names:  
> NotMyStory: MC  
> LittleWitch: Asra  
> WarriorPrincess: Nadia  
> YourObedientServant: Portia  
> Gatsbying: Muriel
> 
> (The only reason that Julian and Lucio aren't speaking is because I can't come up with usernames for them yet RIP)

LittleWitch: Hey, does anyone know where Ilya is?

NotMyStory: Who?

YourObedientServant: Ilya??? My brother???

NotMyStory: Oh, Julian.

NotMyStory: No.

WarriorPrincess: I also have no clue.

LittleWitch: Muriel?

Gatsbying: Sorry, I didn't see him all day.

YourObedientServant: Lucio???

YourObedientServant: Lucio?

WarriorPrincess: Oh great, now we're missing two idiots.

NotMyStory: Is it fair to call them losers?

WarriorPrincess:  **loathing,unadulteratedloathing.vid**

NotMyStory: I take it back.

LittleWitch: Wow, they have really good singing voices, when was this?

Gatsbying: When you were in England for that internship, remember? I warned against it?

LittleWitch: Oh yeah. I got mugged twice when I was there.

Gatsbying: I told you.

NotMyStory: I found them.

YourObedientServant: Where?

NotMyStory:  **howcute.jpg**  

NotMyStory: Take a wild guess.

LittleWitch: Is that our apartment?

NotMyStory: Bingo.

NotMyStory: I'm done with my classes for the day, so I'll just watch over these two.

WarriorPrincess: Make sure that Lucio is taking care of his prosthetic! He tends to forget sometimes.

NotMyStory: Got it.

NotMyStory: Signing out!


	2. Chapter 2

HotDoctor: Why the fuck am I cuddling Lucio?

NotMyStory: I don't know, but do you want anything? 

HotDoctor: Some tea.

NotMyStory: Wake up Lucio, and I'll get you some.

LittleWitch: I'll get the first aid kit ready

Gatsbying: Why??

WarriorPrincess: As the person who's known Lucio the longest, I'll let you know that waking him up generally results in a few bruises and cuts.

Gatsbying: Is he okay??

LittleWitch: Are any of us?

YourObedientServant: Hear, hear.

HotDoctor: Anyway, if you're all done being emo, Lucifer's up

CountLucifer: Oh shush you MCR wanna be.

YourObedientServant: Wow, what a read.

HotDoctor: Ok than Hamlet.

LittleWitch: Wow, what a read.

Gatsbying: Hey

Gatsbying: I'd hate to interrupt this, whatever it is.

Gatsbying: But Lucio needed to get down here like, 5 minutes ago for soundcheck.

CountLucifer: Oh Fuck.

NotMyStory: Why were you two even in Asra and I's apartment anyway?

HotDoctor: ...

HotDoctor: Lucio don't you dare

CountLucifer: Julian wanted a "relaxing orgy"

NotMyStory: Ok, that makes sense for Julian, but why are you here?

CountLucifer: Because I'm the best in bed??? 

LittleWitch: Sure jan

WarriorPrincess: You keep on thinking that.

NotMyStory: mmmm, okay

CountLucifer: I'm not bad!

Gatsbying: Yeah, but you're not that good either.

CountLucifer: This is open panphobia

YourObedientServant: We're all pan you dork

WarriorPrincess: Also, you're a political science major to be a politician. You should have a stronger backbone than this.

LittleWitch: His backbone may not be strong, but it is flexible.

Gatsbying: And we're done! Lucio, please get down here as fast as humanly fucking possible.

CountLucifer: What's in it for me?

Gatsbying: Come down and find out.

NotMyStory: You hypocrite

Gatsbying: To quote Darra from Charm School Season 1: "By any means necessary"


	3. Fashion! (Also, rules)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanart is from hann-paints and letheandraught on tumblr, it's not mine.

NotMyStory: Ok, who did it?

WarriorPrincess: What?

LittleWitch: What are you talking about?

NotMyStory: Who gave Julian a keyhole sweater?

CountLucifer: What tf is a keyhole sweater?

NotMyStory: 

LittleWitch: Luci?

Gatsbying: Oh my god. He bolted out of the theatre.

NotMyStory: Where's he going?

YourObedientSerevant: Why has Lucio bowled over half the football team in a rush?

LittleWitch: We have no clue.

HotDoctor: Why is my phone going offfdassdfmg

LittleWitch: Ilya?

NotMyStory: Julian?

WarriorPrincess: I'll go check on him.

YourObedientServant: Please do.

WarriorPrincess: Well, good news, Julian is feeling good.

LittleWitch: Bad news?

WarriorPrincess: Lucio is currently making him feel a little /too/ good.

WarriorPrincess: The coffee is spilled on the floor, and the book is on top of the shelf, laying like it was thrown there.

WarriorPrincess: I'm gonna leave.

Gatsbying: Hey Portia, want to get some food?

YourObedientServant: Yep, that sounds good right now.

* * *

 

CountLucifer: Ew. 

LittleWitch: What's wrong?

CountLucifer: Valerius texted me again.

NotMySory: One

HotDoctor: Don't pick up the phone, you know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone.

Gatsbying: Two

YourObedientServant: Don't let him in, you'll have to kick him out again

LittleWitch: Three

WarriorPrincess: Don't be his friend, you know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.

NotMyStory: And if you're under him, you ain't getting over him.

CountLucifer: ...

CountLucifer: Did you guys plan that?

LittleWitch: Yes.

* * *

 

CountLucifer: 

CountLucifer: I came out here to this park to have a good time, and honestly my good time just got better.

LittleWitch: Is this going to become a thing? Because, I kind of wouldn't mind it becoming a thing.

YourObedientServant: You thirsty hoes.

YourObedientServant: Where are the others anyway?

HotDoctor: On another date. Now come on, I brought snacks.

LittleWitch: Nice.

CountLucifer: Can't turn down snacks being offered by a snack.

YourObedientServant: Oh god, he really is turning into Grey's Anatomy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, remember that loathing, unadulterated loathing joke? Well, [ I made a video for it.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4wCzgZneiY)
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr: aprofessionalfan, and don't be afraid to comment.


	4. Oops, I Did It (Again?)

**HotDoctor has changed his name to DevorASS**

Gatsbying: Why?

CountLucifer: No one let him know.

Gatsbying: Wait...

Gatsbying: What do you mean, "No one let him know"?

CountLucifer: Nothing.

Gatsbying: Lucio

WarriorPrincess: I saw him take Julian's phone, unlock it, and change the name.

CountLucifer: Goddamit Nadia

YourObediantServant: Ok, that's funny as fuck.

YourObediantServant: Considering that Ilya has no ass.

CountLucifer: Um..

NotMyStory: What?

CountLucifer: He most definitely has an ass.

CountLucifer: And a great one at that.

WarriorPrincess:  **surejan.jpg**

LittleWitch: Ah, I've been looking for that meme.

CountLucifer: Nadia,,,, honey,,,,

WarriorPrincess: Yes???? Snookums????

NotMyStory: Oh god.

Gatsbying: Welp, I have 5 bucks on Nadia

YourObediantServant: No bet

LittleWitch: No bet

NotMyStory: No bet

DevorASS: No bet

CountLucifer: BETRAYAL

WarriorPrincess: It's not a betrayal if no one's on your side in the first place sweetie.

* * *

 Gatsbying:  **[harmonypractice.vid](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9AyO8h2I0k)**

NotMyStory: Wow!

LittleWitch: Nice!

WarriorPrincess: Well done you guys!

YourObediantServant: Julian Ilya Devorack why the fuck did you not tell me that you guys were doing Hamilton?!

DevorASS: Oh shit.

* * *

DevorASS: @NotMyStory@ Why the fuck does no one but us know your name?

LittleWitch: ???

NotMyStory: You mean all the nicknames people call me?

NotMyStory: Well, so many people just kept on forgetting my name, and so I rolled with whatever name they gave me.

NotMyStory: What names did you run into?

DevorASS: Mercury, Venus, and Aradatial.

NotMyStory: ...

NotMyStory: Were you in the astronomy wing??

DevorASS: Yes???

NotMyStory: For fucks sake Julian

NotMyStory: I'm on my way.

* * *

CountLucifer: Kay, not to be rude or anything, but how did we meet Muriel? I have no recollection of ever meeting him.

WarriorPrincess: He literally warned us about your anti?

YourObediantServant: He was being blackmailed into helping that evil furry?

NotMyStory: Asra and I realized something was wrong?

DevorASS: We literally guided him into this mess of a relationship?

CountLucifer: Okay, now why is his name Gatsbying?

Gatsbying: [educate yourself](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/66pmcr/posting_a_snapchat_to_your_story_and_then_waiting/)

CountLucifer: Oh yeah, the summer photos.

LittleWitch: I still can't believe he Did That.

Gatsbying: It was worth it.

NotMyStory: Aw.

* * *

 

NotMyStory: WHY THE fuck

DevorASS: Listen, I can explain

NotMyStory: Julian, you gotta warn me before you pull shit like this.

WarriorPrincess: I'm confused.

NotMyStory:  **afewsnacks.jpg**

WarriorPrincess: ...

WarriorPrincess: I'm intrigued.

LittleWitch: Listen, it was Lucio's idea

CountLucifer: Um, I only picked out the booty shorts for myself. I never asked you to pick those leggings, Julian to pick that leotard, and Muriel to wear that singlet.

NotMyStory: I'm not complaining though. 

WarriorPrincess: Only an idiot would complain.

CountLucifer: Welp, time for a night on the town.

YourObediantServant: Make sure you have your phones on just in case someone harasses you!

DevorASS: Got it sis. Have fun!


	5. Lucio Cleans Up

CountLucifer: So, the great debate for US History...

NotMyStory: Yeah, which sides are we on?

DevorASS: Um.

WarriorPrincess: Did none of us check?

YourObedientServant: No.

Gatsbying: Oops

LittleWitch: Nope.

NotMyStory: Well then, now what?

DevorASS: Hold on a second

**DevorASS has added Mazed and Confused**

DevorASS: Hey, do you know which sides we're on for the debate?

Mazed and Confused: Andrew Jackson and the Indian Removal Bill debate?

DevorASS: Yep.

Mazed and Confused: Red Cross is Andrew Jackson

LittleWitch: That's gonna be interesting

DevorASS: Well, at least I'm defending history

Mazed and Confused: Queen and her Knight is Congress For.

YourObedientServant: Ok Nadia, you're gonna have to carry us because I am but a small hospitality major

WarriorPrincess: Got it.

Mazed and Cofused: Faer Warning is the Cherokee

NotMyStory: That's easy to argue, right?

Gatsbying: It does give you the most choices.

Mazed and Confused: And our lovely president is Congress Against.

LittleWitch: Oh god.

DevorASS: Nadia, you have to stop him.

YourObedientServant: Nadia, you can't let him win.

CountLucifer: You don;t understand.

CountLucifer: No one can stop my wrath

LittleWitch: Bitch I destroyed you in that pillow fight last week.

CountLucifer: Asra,,,,, how about,,,,, you,,,,, shush,?

LittleWitch: How, about, you, come, make, me.

DevorASS: Asra, I would run if I were you because this man just hopped the fence to the dorms.

LittleWitch: Fuck

* * *

 

WarriorPrincess: Well, that was 

WarriorPrincess: an experience.

DevorASS: Pasha, we got slaughtered

LittleWitch: I'm still in shock at the roasts

Gatsbying: Well, I'm glad I could sleep

NotMyStory: I don't know how you could sleep. There was so much screaming

NotMyStory: Lucio, how do you deal with that everyday in poli sci?

CountLucifer: I'm student council president for a reason.

YourObedientServant: "Ms.Devorak, do you and your colleauges not know what a bill is?"

LittleWitch: "Mr.President, I find it ironic that although you campaigned against the national bank, you're putting monetary values over human lives that God has touched."

LittleWitch: Where tf did that come from? You're not even religious?

CountLucifer: By any means necessary.

NotMyStory: Damn, debate must be rough

WarriorPrincess: Yep.

**Author's Note:**

> pls kudo i have family to feed
> 
> Also yes, Lucio sang Glinda's part while Julian sang Elphalba's part in What is this Feeling? (Loathing! Unadulterated Loathing!)


End file.
